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Seeing red

When did it become customary to attach bags of candy and knickknacks to Valentines? 

I'm not talking about a single red lollipop or a small bag of candy hearts. 

I'm talkin' assorted princess pencils, butterfly erasers, neon-colored lollipop rings, dinosaur stickers and Toy Story tattoos ... all in the same bag or, more lavishly, a heart-themed plastic cup? 

I sent my kids to school with red construction paper hearts that they traced and cut out themselves, then scrawled their names on in varying degrees of illegibility. And even that took three days of crafting that very nearly saw me stab my eyes out with scissors. 

Our dining room table looks like a Halloween trick-or-treat bag exploded and rained down sugar missiles. You know the scene in Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy throws a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch and the witch melts in a shrieking, hissing, terrifying mess? That's precisely what candy does to my kids. 

After just one piece. 

So, if you know who's responsible for hijacking Valentine's Day and transforming it into a mini-Halloween, do share. I've got a candy heart for them with a simple message: F U

Reader Comments (9)

HAHA! WTF happened here?! Same thing in Whitney's class today. I went to the party and brought along the...wait for it...Valentine CARDS. I guess I missed the memo about Christmas stockings attached to Valentines. At first I felt kind of self-conscious that horror of horrors Whitney only had cards to offer. Then I realized all this candy and trinket crappola was coming home with us and was annoyed. So defeating!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBuenoBaby

My God! The crap!
Also, it's almost like the actual cards are an afterthought now and the real glory is in the gift. Which isn't how it should be in flipping preschool and first grade, if ever.

February 14, 2011 | Registered CommenterDana Damico

Oh dear. Is that what I have to look forward to.
What's wrong with the little valentines that you made and gave out. No candy!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeighann

Really, I think it's up to the school to set some sort of policy. We did the same as you: handmade cards. The craziness with goodie bags and birthday parties and now Valentine's gifts boils down to one thing: parents trying to out do each other.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

I've been hearing stories from friends with kids in day care and in school! It sounds like complete insanity.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLemon Gloria

Valentine's at my boys' school is like that. I felt like a super mom for having my kids write their names on the valentine's cards we sent and they brought home assorted cups and baggies filled with candy and there's even a hand sewn stuffed animal. WTF? I thought mine were decadent for sending conversation hearts.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Along those same lines......Birthday Party treat bags???? If you are like me, the stuff gets left in the van, where it then goes into the garbage can at the gas station next time I fill up :)

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKari

I am PRECISELY like you in that regard. Well, maybe I let them play with the stuff at home for a day (two is pushing it) before I chuck it. Or it breaks. Which makes me even more angry because then I feel all sorts of guilt for clogging the landfill with crap.

February 15, 2011 | Registered CommenterDana Damico

I realise I'm a few days late on this - shame on me for being behind on reading the posts!! I have an excuse - all 3 kids sick since Monday, hubbbys away, blah blah. Anyway. I concur. I found this out a few years ago at Anna's preschool up here when we moved. I too was shocked, but we continue to snub the "new tradition" and just send in our cards with the illedigible signatures. Same w/ goodie bags for b-day parties. A craft (self decorated cup to use at party) or party themed thing (a few things - gold coin, chocolate coin & beaded necklace from pirate chest at the pirate party) is all I do. Last year they got little hand held battery operated fans at the backyard blowup pool party (it WAS like 90 degrees). I say UNCLE!! I'm not keeping up with the Jones. At least not on this front. ;)

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

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