Surely, you've seen this video by now. More than 1.8 million people have. I saw the link probably six or seven times with various headlines about the twin boys and their hilarious "conversation" but never clicked through. Josephine and Desmond made up inexplicable nicknames for each other when they were about 18 months old - he called her "Dodi," she called him "Doi" - but they never shared their own secret language. So, I just didn't bother to follow the links.
At least, not until Ilana at Mommy Shorts posted the video and asked readers to submit captions for a caption contest. Of course, the hand waving, foot stomping and arguing between the boys is roll-on-the-floor funny but what I was most struck by was the twins' house. The mess of the place: the toys, the piles of laundry, the dishes. Because this former neat freak, this Type-A personality remembers a time when Esme was 2 and the twins were babies and our house was an indistinguishable explosion of clothes, food, blocks, moving boxes, STUFF.
And crying. Lots of crying.
So, while this video made me laugh, it also made me profoundly grateful that those exhausting, sleep-deprived days are behind us (even if the mess persists).
Here's my caption submission:
Boy on the left: "What's up with your foot? Where's your sock?"
Boy on the right: "It's in the freezer, man. Help me get it out."
Boy on the left: "In the freezer? Brotha, you're full of shit."
Boy on the right: "Straight up. I watched Mom put the laundry away and she put my clothes in here."
Boy on the left: "You're crazy."
Boy on the right: LAUGHS "No! She's crazy! She put the groceries in the bathroom and the dry-cleaning on the back porch. Woman needs some sleep, but you're up all night crying like a baby."
Boy on the left: "Can't help if I get hungry. Boy's gotta eat."
Boy on the right: LAUGHS "You need to give her a break. Did you see her hair today? See what she's wearing? She hasn't changed out of those yoga pants in days and she hasn't put a toothbrush near her mouth in a week. Look around the place, it's a mess!"
Boy on the left: "Whatever. You're no angel yourself; all the time with the blow outs. And right after she gets you dressed. Every. Single. Time. She puts clean clothes on you and you poop all over them. You see the dirty clothes piles around here. It's all your stuff."
Boy on the right: LAUGHS "Just help me open the freezer."
Boy on the left: "No way. No how. You see this hand? You're gonna get one of these on the bottom if you so much as touch that. She's gonna eat you alive."
Boy on the right: "Man, I gotta. We got a play date later with the Olsen twins and, well, you've seen them. They're hot! I can't show up with just one sock. They'll think I'm nuts."
Boy on the left: "If the shoe fits..."
Boy on the right: LAUGHS "Not without a sock! Just help me."
Boy on the left: "What's in it for me?"
Boy on the right: "There's chocolate ice cream in there. Lots of it. I hear her eating it when we're supposed to be sleeping."
Boy on the left: "I can't do it. She got on my case the other day about eating the dog's food and sitting in the water bowl. It's too big a risk. You're on your own."
Boy on the right: TRIES TO CLIMB INTO THE FREEZER
Boy on the left: "It's your funeral, man."
If you want to take a stab at it, head on over to Mommy Shorts.