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Wednesday
Mar302011

If the shoe fits

Surely, you've seen this video by now. More than 1.8 million people have. I saw the link probably six or seven times with various headlines about the twin boys and their hilarious "conversation" but never clicked through. Josephine and Desmond made up inexplicable nicknames for each other when they were about 18 months old - he called her "Dodi," she called him "Doi" - but they never shared their own secret language. So, I just didn't bother to follow the links. 

At least, not until Ilana at Mommy Shorts posted the video and asked readers to submit captions for a caption contest. Of course, the hand waving, foot stomping and arguing between the boys is roll-on-the-floor funny but what I was most struck by was the twins' house. The mess of the place: the toys, the piles of laundry, the dishes. Because this former neat freak, this Type-A personality remembers a time when Esme was 2 and the twins were babies and our house was an indistinguishable explosion of clothes, food, blocks, moving boxes, STUFF.

And crying. Lots of crying. 

So, while this video made me laugh, it also made me profoundly grateful that those exhausting, sleep-deprived days are behind us (even if the mess persists). 

Here's my caption submission: 

Boy on the left: "What's up with your foot? Where's your sock?"

Boy on the right: "It's in the freezer, man. Help me get it out."

Boy on the left: "In the freezer? Brotha, you're full of shit."

Boy on the right: "Straight up. I watched Mom put the laundry away and she put my clothes in here."

Boy on the left: "You're crazy."

Boy on the right: LAUGHS "No! She's crazy! She put the groceries in the bathroom and the dry-cleaning on the back porch. Woman needs some sleep, but you're up all night crying like a baby."

Boy on the left: "Can't help if I get hungry. Boy's gotta eat."

Boy on the right: LAUGHS "You need to give her a break. Did you see her hair today? See what she's wearing? She hasn't changed out of those yoga pants in days and she hasn't put a toothbrush near her mouth in a week. Look around the place, it's a mess!"

Boy on the left: "Whatever. You're no angel yourself; all the time with the blow outs. And right after she gets you dressed. Every. Single. Time.  She puts clean clothes on you and you poop all over them. You see the dirty clothes piles around here. It's all your stuff."

Boy on the right: LAUGHS "Just help me open the freezer."

Boy on the left: "No way. No how. You see this hand? You're gonna get one of these on the bottom if you so much as touch that. She's gonna eat you alive."

Boy on the right: "Man, I gotta. We got a play date later with the Olsen twins and, well, you've seen them. They're hot! I can't show up with just one sock. They'll think I'm nuts."

Boy on the left: "If the shoe fits..."

Boy on the right: LAUGHS "Not without a sock! Just help me."

Boy on the left: "What's in it for me?"

Boy on the right: "There's chocolate ice cream in there. Lots of it. I hear her eating it when we're supposed to be sleeping."

Boy on the left: "I can't do it. She got on my case the other day about eating the dog's food and sitting in the water bowl. It's too big a risk. You're on your own."

Boy on the right: TRIES TO CLIMB INTO THE FREEZER

Boy on the left: "It's your funeral, man."

**************

If you want to take a stab at it, head on over to Mommy Shorts

Reader Comments (7)

I am very glad that you posted this on your site instead of just letting it wallow away in my comments section. It deserved much better.

And I hadn't even considered the mess. I guess it looks all too familiar. SIGH.

March 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMommy Shorts

Love your take on it! Sounds about right too!

March 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTheresa

ugh!!!!!! did you see my comment(s) over at mommyshorts?

(ps: you're totally adorable.)

March 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternic @mybottlesup

The boys are cute an remind me a little of my boys when they were that age, but I am also very, very grateful that my twins are six years old!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I love this! And I love your dialogue! Love love love!

Da da da da da da?!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlemon gloria

So perfect! I was trying to read this as the twins (my twins I should say) were behind me giggling their behinds off pretending to be the dog. Now they are whispering something they don't want me to hear and have run off - shutting the door behind them. I am SO greatful I have been able to brush my teeth today AND change my clothes. Though my house is a disaster, and I WILL be eating icecream once they are in bed tonight... xo

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I still eat ice cream most nights too, Katie.
Lisa, if you thought my dialogue was funny, check out this video subtitled with the one twin warning the other that the cobra from the Bronx Zoo may be in the kitchen. It's genius!
http://bzfd.it/fka9ye

March 31, 2011 | Registered CommenterDana Damico

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